"What maks him tick apart from his prick....and the lonelier side of the jealousy stick..."

I hate talking about dieting, cause I'm so not that kind of girl.

But I joined weightwatchers (online) four days ago.

I've been going to the gym 3-5 days a week for the past seven months. I also gave up smoking seven months ago. So while I haven't gained any weight and I'm definitely more toned (I think), I weigh pretty much exactly the same. And thats telling me I need to do something else.

So - we'll see. So far - its good.

But I'm a going out, drinking too much, being silly kinda girl. So its easy when I'm busy at work and going to the gym. I'm guessing its going to be a hell of a lot harder - when I'm drinking or out for dinner, or generally just hanging out with my friends.

Anyway - my goal weight loss is 15lbs. Ideally, I wold like to lose 25lbs, but I'm unsure how realistic that is.

My Friday evening has consisted of a drink with friends from work and then cardio at the gym for 60 minutes. Weekend will be all studying. After Vegas last weekend - this is s exactly what I need.

xx

"Is he dark enough...enough to see your light...do you brush your teeth before you kiss...do you miss my smile..."

I was emailing with an ex last night, and somehow we got onto the topic of five words that we would use to describe ourselves and five words we would use to describe each other.

His words for me were:

- Intelligent
- Sexual
- Beautiful
- Vivacious
- Demanding

ha ha - mostly fair I think.

My words for myself were:

- Intelligent
- Fun
- Impatient
- Loyal
- Sexual

I think I like his words for me more :)

xxx

"I wanna get me a little ...oblivion....keep myself away from me..."

These are my thoughts for the evening:

1. How could you get married? I still don't really understand it.

2. I should listen to my friends more. I really, really should.

3. Day two of weightwatchers is almost impossible when out for dinner at my favourite restaurant. Thank God for exercise points and weekly points. Otherwise I would be fucked (and not in a good way).

4. Still totally in love with Spike from Buffy. Hot, skinny, smoking vampire...what more could a girl want?

5. I don't treat people I disllike as badly as someone treated me today, and I won't forget it in a hurry.

6. I've dcided to go back to masturbating at least once a day. I figure masturbating is like sex, the less you have, the less you want. The more you have - the more you want. More = good.

xxxx

"Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat, Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did"

I got booty called (well in fact gchatted) twice today. I don't know whats wrong with me, but I really do seem to have lost all ability to have casual sex for the hell of it. I think I get bored fast, or maybe I really want more, I don't know. But what I do know - is that my sexual side wants the old me back.

I'm so freaking tired tonight. 45 mins of cardio at the gym just about killed me. In 13 mins I have a conference call with Japan which I'm dreading. I just want to crawl into bed or lie on my couch, snuggling some cute (smart, funny, intelligent) boy. But unless I accepted one of my booty gchat, I just don't see that happening.

I have some drama in my life right now, that I just need gone. Honestly, I used to thrive on drama. Now - I just hate it. I do like my life full of some ups and downs (I can get bored, fast), but I don't need that to be because of any drama with my friends.

Anyway, I need to prepare a little for this call. I'm setting my alarm for 6am to try and either go to the gym or get on my bike. We'll see if that happens.

xx

"And you love...and you hate...and you wait..."

A few things about me:

- I'm single, don't date as much as I should, or shag as much as I want to. The dating is probably because I'm lazy. The shagging is because my ability to have casual sex apparently doesn't exist anymore.

- I have three small tattoos and I'm currently debating my fourth.

- I have a dog that is about as cool as it gets.

- I've lived in three countries which I've loved, but my life would be a hell of a lot easier if my friends and family were all in the same place.

- I write when I'm happy, or sad, or grumpy, or drunk or hungover. Blogging is like my therapy.

- I've just spent the last four days in Vegas. I want to crawl into bed and sleep for about a hundred years.

xxxx